Just Got Hitched, Now How do I Sleep With a Partner?
Sleeping with a partner can be more difficult than it appears. You have a couple factors to consider. First, you and your partner may have different sleep habits. If you’re a night owl, you’re gonna have a hard time being compatible with an early bird. Back sensitivity could also be another issue. You may prefer a soft mattress while your partner likes a firm mattress. Obviously you can see how there could be well… a little tension in the bedroom.
I mentioned the night owl/early bird problem but I really think this could be crucial to getting to bed well with your partner. It’s not really fair to either of you to have to go to sleep when the other needs it. A solution for conflict that comes from different sleep patterns is just to have a time set aside for bonding. Just before the “early bird” goes to sleep you’ll both just sit down and talk or play chess or something. You can really take it however you like. This way you can still bond but one isn’t necessarily restricted to sleeping whenever their partner wants to. Be careful if you’re a night owl and you’re forcing yourself to sleep earlier than you’re used to JUST for your partner. Forcing yourself to sleep against what you want can just lead to unhealthy resentment.
That said, many – including myself – believe night owls don’t even exist and are just an excuse for staying up late in most cases.
Snoring is one thing if your partner or you are just congested for a night, but if it’s repeatedly upsetting either one of your sleep patterns, it’s time to talk. Snoring be a sign that your partner has sleep apnea. If you’re not sure if you have it yourself you can take this short quiz that we have provided to help with self-diagnosing.
If you haven’t seen our article on picking out the right mattress for you, then that may be a good start. After you do find your mattress type, you may find that you and your partner really differ in tastes. You may want to look into mattresses that can switch firmness on each side or even motion isolation.
How would you like to not feel it every time your partner turns over during the night. What motion isolation does is it localizes or absorbs a person’s movement. Choosing the correct mattress for this can be key if you’re a light sleeper. More than choosing the correct mattress, it’s important to choose the correct material. Some materials are better than others for absorbing movement. Memory foam tends to to be the the best at isolating movement, while air mattresses are usually the worst.
Motion isolation has proven time and time again that it is a key factor in helping couples sleep. Next time you’re out buying a mattress this should be something that every couple should look into.
Is this work even worth sleeping with a partner? Should I just try separate beds?
Unless you have some other reason for wanting to. That sense of security that you can only get from a partner has been proven to actually help you sleep. It is definitely worth it to prioritize being with your partner and trying to make that work.
It doesn’t take a psychologist to know that if a couple can’t work out a proper sleeping arrangement then it could be a tell tale sign for their relationship. So putting some effort and emphasis on compromising and putting thought into your mattress could be a big deal.